If you ever wondered how to turn your back yard into a swamp, just follow these simple instructions.
Supplies Needed: One house with the outdoor water faucet in the back; bushes that need watering in the front of the house; one, 100-foot garden hose stretched around the house (important note: be sure to have an older hose that has the possibility of bursting); 100% forgetfulness and 0% common sense
1. Work on the yard by first mowing the grass.
2. Turn on water faucet to water the bushes.
3. Water the bushes.
4. This is where you use the 100% forgetfulness and 0% common sense and do not turn off the water, just leave it turned on.
5. After watering bushes, enter house to relax from the heat, take a shower to clean up, call a friend and talk, eat dinner, watch a movie and go to bed.
6. On the following day, get up and go to work.
7. Upon returning from work, and hearing some kind of water running in the house, quickly check the kitchen and bathroom to make sure there are no problems.
8. Go to the back of the house and find previously mentioned hose that is wrapped around a hose-caddy with a hole burst open in it.
9. Watch the water from that burst hole in the hose shoot about six feet into the air and out into the yard, running all day while you are at work.
Viola! You instantly have a swamp for a backyard!
(side note: don't mow that area of the year for at least a week)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
R.I.P. Rocky
I came home from work today and went to mow the yard. I started the mower, and started in on a trim for the grass. Before I made one full pass around the yard, I came up on something laying the yard next to the tree. Once I got close enough to see, I realized I had come across the scene of a suicide.
It turns out, one of the gazillion squirrels in my neighborhood had decided to take a swan dive from somewhere up high in the very large tree in my yard. Needless to say, that squirrel's dream of flying was burst. Or rather squashed.
The poor little guy was just laying there, with flies all around. He hadn't been there long. I know for a fact that he wasn't there yesterday afternoon, so it had to have happened within the last 24 hours.
After scooping him up and depositing him in the trash container, I continued with my yard mowing but couldn't help but think about that poor little squirrel. I wondered what the last thing was that went through his mind before he took the plunge. Was he trying to hop from one branch to another? Was he trying to chase or run from another squirrel? Was he eluding another predator? Did he finally succumb to the pressures of squirrel life and not being able to store enough nuts and food?
I always see squirrels running around in pairs, one chasing the other, and I couldn't help but wonder if there was another squirrel out there who was missing this poor little fellow. Or if there were a couple little baby squirrels waiting for mom or dad squirrel (not sure which - I didn't bother to try and check).
I do have to admit I did chuckle a bit with the goofy look on the squirrel's face. He had buck teeth that were sticking out a bit, and hit front legs were pulled up towards his chest with paws facing out, like he was trying to brace himself from a fall. Like that would have helped save him or something. His little beady eyes were still open too, probably still wide-eyed from his freaking out while watching the ground come at him at an incredible speed.
Whatever the situation, I'm sure the little guy is at peace now up in little squirrel heaven. That or he'll just sit an decompose while tied up in a Target bag in my trash can outside until the garbage man comes on Monday. Which can't come soon enough with the horrendous smell that emanates from a dead squirrel.
It turns out, one of the gazillion squirrels in my neighborhood had decided to take a swan dive from somewhere up high in the very large tree in my yard. Needless to say, that squirrel's dream of flying was burst. Or rather squashed.
The poor little guy was just laying there, with flies all around. He hadn't been there long. I know for a fact that he wasn't there yesterday afternoon, so it had to have happened within the last 24 hours.
After scooping him up and depositing him in the trash container, I continued with my yard mowing but couldn't help but think about that poor little squirrel. I wondered what the last thing was that went through his mind before he took the plunge. Was he trying to hop from one branch to another? Was he trying to chase or run from another squirrel? Was he eluding another predator? Did he finally succumb to the pressures of squirrel life and not being able to store enough nuts and food?
I always see squirrels running around in pairs, one chasing the other, and I couldn't help but wonder if there was another squirrel out there who was missing this poor little fellow. Or if there were a couple little baby squirrels waiting for mom or dad squirrel (not sure which - I didn't bother to try and check).
I do have to admit I did chuckle a bit with the goofy look on the squirrel's face. He had buck teeth that were sticking out a bit, and hit front legs were pulled up towards his chest with paws facing out, like he was trying to brace himself from a fall. Like that would have helped save him or something. His little beady eyes were still open too, probably still wide-eyed from his freaking out while watching the ground come at him at an incredible speed.
Whatever the situation, I'm sure the little guy is at peace now up in little squirrel heaven. That or he'll just sit an decompose while tied up in a Target bag in my trash can outside until the garbage man comes on Monday. Which can't come soon enough with the horrendous smell that emanates from a dead squirrel.
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