How to Turn Your Backyard Into a Swamp

If you ever wondered how to turn your back yard into a swamp, just follow these simple instructions.

Supplies Needed: One house with the outdoor water faucet in the back; bushes that need watering in the front of the house; one, 100-foot garden hose stretched around the house (important note: be sure to have an older hose that has the possibility of bursting); 100% forgetfulness and 0% common sense

1. Work on the yard by first mowing the grass.

2. Turn on water faucet to water the bushes.

3. Water the bushes.

4. This is where you use the 100% forgetfulness and 0% common sense and do not turn off the water, just leave it turned on.

5. After watering bushes, enter house to relax from the heat, take a shower to clean up, call a friend and talk, eat dinner, watch a movie and go to bed.

6. On the following day, get up and go to work.

7. Upon returning from work, and hearing some kind of water running in the house, quickly check the kitchen and bathroom to make sure there are no problems.

8. Go to the back of the house and find previously mentioned hose that is wrapped around a hose-caddy with a hole burst open in it.

9. Watch the water from that burst hole in the hose shoot about six feet into the air and out into the yard, running all day while you are at work.

Viola! You instantly have a swamp for a backyard!

(side note: don't mow that area of the year for at least a week)